Are you sceptical about emotional intelligence (EQ)?
- Debbie Mackenzie
- Jul 4
- 4 min read
If you're not convinced about the value of emotional intelligence (EQ) - or unsure where to start - check out my article below. It highlights why leaders need EQ and provides 4 simple tips to get started...
For the pragmatic, results-driven leader, EQ might seem “fluffy.”
“Cringey” even.
Some would rather run a mile than “get in touch with their feelings.”
But leaders can’t afford to ignore it.
Research shows that EQ is increasingly seen as the critical factor that differentiates high performing leaders and organisations from their competitors.
It makes sense, when you think about it.
Emotions influence everything we do and say, how we show up and how we react to events around us.
As leaders, we set the tone for our organisations and our behaviour has a direct impact on how our team members feel.
If they feel heard, seen, involved and informed, they’re more likely to be engaged, motivated and productive.
Connecting in a meaningful way with colleagues is crucial for success, and EQ is central to that.
But where to start?
The great thing about EQ is that you can work on it.
Below, I’ve pulled together a brief explanation of EQ and four simple tips to get you started on developing this vital skill.
What is EQ?
EQ is a skill that helps you to understand, manage and navigate your own emotions and those of others. Leaders with strong EQ are able to use information about emotions in a meaningful way to develop effective relationships, support well-being, overcome challenges and adapt behaviour for positive outcomes.
Here’s a simple breakdown of the five core elements of EQ:
1. Self-awareness
Understanding what makes you tick, is the starting point for relating to others. Building self-awareness is about recognising your emotions, strengths and limitations and how these combine to influence your behaviour and its impact on others.
2. Self-management
Your ability to deal with your emotions, thoughts and behaviours positively, especially in the face of challenging situations. Good self-management leads to more controlled responses, greater composure and improved adaptability.
3. Empathy
Your capacity to understand and respond to the emotions of others. Showing that you care about what others are experiencing, enables them to feel heard and seen. It makes for meaningful communication and deep connection.
4. Social skills
Your ability to develop and sustain positive relationships with others to achieve your goals. This is where you make conscious choices about how to adapt your approach to suit the situation, in order to communicate, influence and collaborate effectively.
5. Motivation
Your inner drive to achieve goals and keep moving forwards, looking beyond your personal objectives to shared organisational purpose and targets. Motivation relates to your ability to take the initiative, inspiring your team with your optimism, meeting challenges head-on and taking everyone on the journey with you.
That might seem like a lot, but you can develop your EQ by following a few simple steps. Below are four actions to get you started:
1. Get to know yourself
Use an assessment tool like DISC Flow® to build a picture of your strengths and limitations and identify your behavioural comfort zone.
Develop this further by seeking feedback from trusted colleagues to gain additional perspectives on how your behaviour impacts others.
Start a journal to record your emotional reactions and their impact. Take time to reflect on them, noticing any patterns or new insights you can learn from.
2. Sharpen your listening skills
Carve out time on a regular basis for 1-2-1’s and use them to practice being truly present. Create a safe space for openness and listen actively, without judgement or assumptions. Try to resist the temptation to offer advice or jump in with anecdotes from your own experience.
Focus intently on the individual in front of you, their words and their body language, to ensure they feel heard and seen.
3. Exercise your curiosity
Be curious and ask open questions to delve deeper into issues impacting individuals and the wider team. For example, when discussing a specific challenge, ask “how else could you approach this?” or “what would success look like?”
Seek new insights into what motivates your team members by giving them dedicated opportunities to share their thoughts and perspectives. Show them that you are interested and want to learn.
4. Press pause when emotions run high
When your emotions are triggered, take a step back and recognise your feelings. Create space for reflection and decompression, maybe taking yourself off for a walk or box breathing (breathe in for 4 seconds, hold for 4 seconds, breathe out for 4 seconds and hold for 4 seconds).
You might put off sending that important email until your irritation or frustration subsides, saving it as a draft and revisiting it the next day.
Managing your emotions in a way that suits you will protect your wellbeing and lead to more positive interactions.
Summary
By incorporating the above actions into your daily interactions, you will start to gain powerful insights into how your emotions and those of your team members directly impact engagement, motivation, wellbeing and business performance.
Developing your EQ can transform the way you lead. Why not start today?!
If you’d like to understand more about this topic, email me at debbie@collabriocoaching.com to arrange a confidential chat.
